There is nothing on earth like the emotional, physical and mental anguish felt when one loses a child. It is so powerful that it literally shakes and lifts you to another place, a place I never wanted to go to, a place I now see as a gift, thus the name The Unexpected Gift of Grief. Before Rachel passed, I was content, set in my ways, never looked too much into the afterlife or thought much about souls, I did not even know what a soul group was. I was just moving through life, never considering that we are all connected in some way. I mean that just sounds crazy, rite?Well, when desperation and sadness take over you, your mind begins to open up and you begin to see things that you would have never seen, had you never had suffered that excruciating loss. You start to consider the possibility of things that you would have previously doubted. You seek answers to questions that would have never interested you before, it’s like I now know that there is more than life on earth, I now believe that our spirit never dies and we will be together again, I say I know, obviously not factually, but I feel it deep inside of me that it is true. So, as a result I ask questions and have read books to validate if what I feel is true, and Guess What? A lot of it does validate my feelings that life does not end when your earthly body dies.I realize Rachel was more my teacher than anything else. The absence of this one person is so impactful on my life, I had to go out of my comfort zone and explore and understand the “Bigger Picture”, that this is part of the plan and not to feel like I am being punished. Rachel/loss of Rachel has challenged me in many ways and I am thankful that I did not become bitter, but rather love seeing her friends, her cousins, my friends kids etc. Achieve and succeed at their goals.I have learned a lot more about myself and those around me, weaning out my “real” friends from those who could not be bothered with a grieving “friend”. I no longer think the same, Many of my thoughts and beliefs of what I once thought was important has changed. This is not a gift I asked for and believe me, wished I had never gotten, but I did and I acknowledge it as a gift because my world, my views, my beliefs and increased knowledge has expanded giving me a sense of purpose and restoring the hope that I initially lost, to know it’s not final, its just a temporary physical separation and we will one day again be together.Now Just writing all this, I still feel a little crazy, but when you feel what I felt deep inside and in your heart,you believe; coupled with all the research and books supporting life after death, I have become a believer. I feel like we are partners, Rachie and I, working together, me down here and her up there. Look, the truth is, if it gives me just a little comfort, why not continue to believe, I mean no one really knows anything until the end and either I will be disappointed or radiantly happy, but at least my days here will be filled with hope.