Grief often feels like You Are Bipolar

Have you had those days where your emotions are all over the place? Going from content, to utterly sad to hopeful to hopeless all in a 24 hour time period? I have experienced days like these on countless occasions since my Rachel passed away suddenly in September 3, 2016.

I find myself experiencing major ups and downs, without warning, making it difficult at times to get through the day. The thing about being Bipolar is that there is medication to help with these emotional roller coaster rides, but there is no medication to help monitor the grief we feel and this never ending state of constant emotional upheaval.

I find those times I get the opportunity to speak of Rachel, I get a weird sense of happiness, which shortly is overshadowed by the intense pain and reality that she is gone and all I have are my memories of the past, mourning the absence of memories of the present and future.

The definition of grief is a keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss, sharp sorrow and painful regret. Although this simply defines the meaning of grief, speaking first hand its so much more than this. Grief does come to visit, it moves in and becomes part of you. We as humans are adaptable , We can learn to live without a limb we once had, learn to live with an illness that incapacitates us and grief is no different. We do not get “over it” or “move on”, we just learn to live with it and realize sometimes Grief is a renter and other times the landlord.

Fighting the grief we feel, only makes it more powerful. As painful as it is, I have learned going through it and being kind to yourself allowing you to stop and feel the immense void that plaques us daily, is the best way to co-exist with grief.